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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Receptionist: "The doctor will see you now." Invisible Man: "Finally, a cure!"
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
Don`t run with scissors -- unless you`re stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind scissor thief!
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
Is it annoying when people answer their own questions? Yes it is. Do I wish they would stop? Absolutely.
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.