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I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
I`m not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch.
I`m leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
My daughter exclaims "Cheers!" before she takes a drink of juice. So no, actually, I am NOT looking forward to parent - teacher conferences.
You don`t need training to be a street cleaner, you just pick it up as you go along.
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!