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Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
Got a cat the other day. Had to swerve to get it, but I got it!
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
Don`t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I`ve changed since then.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
Long story short, I love summaries
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
All women have an hour glass figure – it’s just that they all tote around different amounts of sand.