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How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of a chap stick.
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
People go to the bar hoping for two things ... to get hammered or to get nailed.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-