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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhhhh” when you plug it in.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
I have been tagged and poked so many times today, I may not be able to walk tomorrow.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you`re on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
My friends were alway so nice. They were like "of course you`re not fat! Come on, grab two chairs and sit with us" :)
The wet spot in my bed is tears
You laugh because you think it’s a joke. I laugh because you think I’m joking.
Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.