Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
You know your fat when you sit in the bath tub and the water in the toilet rises.
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
One of the biggest decisions when you go to college is whether to join a fraternity or just be an asshole on your own.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.