Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone’s status.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
I’d like to hang out, but that would get in the way of me being home and doing absolutely nothing.
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
Roses are red, Violets are blue... Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you thought this would be something sweet and charming, but it`s just some garden facts.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
The trick to farting in an elevator is wearing a suit. No one ever suspects the guy in the suit.
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake