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I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
I think there’s finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
We get it poets: things are like other things
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
Nobody really dates anymore. You just make eye contact, text, hang out, and next thing you know all her clothes are in your closet....
Did you know dryer sheets double as toilet paper and leave your a$$ smelling like meadows and rain drops?
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.