Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
is "insert clever remark here."
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the heck.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
Nice try, St. Patrick`s Day, but I don`t need a reason to drink.
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
I just want to be as thin as my patience.
"Hey bro shotgun this beer" No I don`t drink "You wanna be cool don`t you?" I don`t drink "C`mon NERD!" Grandma PLEASE stop
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.