Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you`re not naked near enough.
When people ask me what I`m going to be on Halloween, the answer is always the same: really drunk
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and shit.
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
My phone is covered in cupcake frosting and dried ice cream, in case you were wondering how my life is going.
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I`d probably choke it.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...