Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn`t 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
I want the job where you push scared skydivers off the plane.
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
Attention!! Today I am traveling back in time to right some wrongs in this world. You will know I succeeded if the Germans lost WW2 and that Thursday comes before Wednesday.
Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, I’m not falling for that.
I`m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You`re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what`s going on here.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.