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I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.
If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
It`s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t give a damn!
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
When I procrastinate, current me really expects a lot out of future me.
Why is it that when you work very hard, you say you are working like a dog? Every dog I`ve ever known is lazy and sleeps 16 hours a day.
My neighbors wifi isn`t working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?
My house has really let itself go.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
has a Massive drinking problem ... there is no alcohol in the house!
Holy sh!t Karma, how much longer till we`re all squared up?