Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I`m single and ready to mingle"..oh god, is this why I`m still single, cuz I say sh!t like that?
The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, "Oooh, that breeze feels nice."
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
I`d take a stupid dog over a stupid person any day.
If you cut your child`s sandwich into squares instead of triangles, you suck at parenting...