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My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
Congratulations! You’ve just read this sentence.
iOS 8 let`s you passcode lock specific apps? It`s fun imagining how many break ups that will cause.
Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
Christmas is all about getting your entire dysfunctional family under one roof, hoping the cops don`t get called and nobody gets arrested.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
Sometimes one middle finger isn`t enough to let someone know how you feel. That`s why we have two hands.
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.
Ever notice how many friends you have when you pull out a pack of gum?