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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
More food should come with prizes inside it.
Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a row boat ... and taking the tartar sauce with you.
When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
Relationships are like batteries, they have a positive & a negative side. And you end up whacking your remote instead of changing them.
Forrest Gump forever changed the way I pronounce buttocks.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
99% of people in this world are stupid. Luckily I`m part of the other 5%.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
I got a new high score today ... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.