Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
Today is the day I go back to the gym. Tomorrow is when I stop telling lies.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
Never squat with your spurs on
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry
Sometimes, half your sh!t is worth it.