Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point.
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
The person that named the eggplant probably isn’t allowed to name things anymore.
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I`m fat and can`t run for more than 2 minutes.
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
My package finally came today. this is awesome....it means I have bubble wrap to play with
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
My sex life is like a Ferrari ... I don`t have a Ferrari
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.