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Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
"How much for the man cave?" "Sir that`s a doghouse." "Can you install cable?"
Do you think retailers in Colorado have seen an increase in the sales of Easy Bake ovens and Brownie mix?
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
My innocent look never works in the nude.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Most days the best thing about my job is that my chair spins
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
I am taking a shot for every “like” I get on this status. Then again, I’m taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.