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That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone’s status.
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
off to bed...evil schemes don`t dream themselves up.
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.
Why are Doctors so afraid of apples?
Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.