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The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
People who help you find what you are looking for in a liquor store should be called "Spirit Guides."
Hi can you fill this prescription please? Sir this is just a post-it note with `give me the good stuff` written on it.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)