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(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
When I`m on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
Am I supposed to bring condoms to a speed dating event? How fast do these things actually go?
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
insert coin to view my status
I know what I`m getting for Christmas ... Fat. I`m getting fat.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her