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Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! - no one ever
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
I get as much action as a white crayon.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
You know what’s funny? Lots of sh!t so lighten the f*ck up.
Why does the sound of the recliner opening always remind my wife the trash needs to be taken out?