Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

How to make friends: 1. Tell people you have weed.
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Stop bitchin about the frigid winter snow. There are kids in Africa who don`t even HAVE weather!
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I have to be careful what I say online because my kids might find out how cool I am and want to start hanging out with me.
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Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
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Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
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Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
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I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
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My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
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You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
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Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
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I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
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Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
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It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
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Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
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Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra
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