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Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Hell Yes.
If it doesn’t involve food or sleep, I’m probably not interested.
Whoever said you can’t “like” your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars