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To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who opens up their Hershey Kisses ever so gently so that the foil doesn’t tear.
They`re called `selfies` because the only one who`s interested in them is yourself.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.