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I just gave my ex a big hug which can only mean one thing. That`s right I have the flu and I love sharing.
Is a roasted peanut like a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts?
Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son`s love, I sometimes think to myself, "This may be the worst prize ever."
People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
Dude, next time you wanna wave at me, please use more than one finger.
If you`re going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
Screw your recommended serving size. You don`t know me.
Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you`re no detective
I wonder if monsters ever get scared that we might be hiding under their bed?
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
be smart, pretend to be stupid!