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It`s so hard to find obedient minions
I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, mirrors, and photographs.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
I think my "check engine" light has finally burned out. So that`s good.
Ebay is really getting worse and worse to use. Yesterday I searched for a cigarette lighter. I got 3,974, 601 matches...
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?