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Jerry: Tom, you are a genius!.. Tom: Yeah, I am called that a lot... Jerry: What? Genius?... Tom: No, `Tom`
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I`m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
This weekends forecast shows a 0% chance of cooking or cleaning, with a good chance of laying around in my pajamas.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I did break a sweat.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
Never ask a Leper to "give you a hand", seriously, don`t........................
Tips for Guys on Valentine`s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She`ll automatically list things she wants.
Some days it´s not worth chewing through the straps.