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A good office manager never let`s you run out of ink, paper or vodka
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
I just ran butt a$$ naked through Walmart yelling "Stop that shoplifter! she got my clothes!"
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
Lust is not real love and Tombstone is not real pizza, but both are fine when you`re drunk.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
Whenever you`re feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.