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" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
SNAUGHLING: Laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn’t that funny anyway.