Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
"i wasn`t that drunk"..Dude!you tied me to a chair and bitch-slapped me,yelling "where`s Harry Potter!!"
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an etch-a-sketch and I don`t own an iPad. Also. I`m out of alcohol.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.
The only difference between McDonald`s and my work is McDonald`s has only got one clown running the show.
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.