Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone`s house on fire. Either way, I`m prepared.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it`s usually `cause I just told myself a joke I`d never heard before :)
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.
I just want to be rich enough to pay people to not talk to me.
drinks well with others.