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Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
No one asks the tough questions, like why are drug dealers on the metric system?
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
If you`re behind someone at the ATM late at night, let them know you`re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.
Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
I never used to mind my wife hitting me in the face as she climaxed until I found out she was faking it.
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work