Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
Today is "find your active cavity at 50% off" day at your local store.
I’m hopelessly addicted to placebos ..I’d give them up, but it’d make no difference.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
My love is like a candle, If you forget about me, I`ll burn your frikin house down!
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
I HATE it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. ..For the FIFTH time, I do not want to go to your cat`s birthday party. Damn it! ..My dog is getting married
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don`t have to save for retirement..