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I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
I fake my LOLs
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
Settle down homemade play dough parents.
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.