Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
Dont let facebook fool you we aint friends
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
Did you know you can buy live lobsters? Anyway, can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters.
I’ve found the best way to learn your co-workers’ names is by eating their food in the office fridge
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I`m pretty damn excited.
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.