Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
You`re from my dreams... Or nightmares. I can`t decide which.
I’m great at remembering names. I just don’t remember which one’s yours.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as “grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube.”
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
Do homeless people get Knock Knock Jokes?
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.
I think a clear conscience is really just memory loss