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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
If you`re a girl and you drink Vodka... there`s a high probability, I love you.
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
Of course you should follow me. I’m funny. Ask anyone. Well, except my mother-in-law. Don`t ask her.
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.
I just got pulled over by the US Border Patrol. The agent comes up to my window and says, "Papers?" I said, "Scizzors!! I win!!!." And drove off. Apparently the US Border Patrol didn`t think Paper beat Scizzors. Sore Losers!!