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My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
I made Creme Brulee today. More food should require the use of a blow torch.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
If at first you don`t succeed ... run them over
Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don`t like being that guy holding two purses.
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
My safe word is "Make sure we don`t go over the hour. That`s all the cash I got on me."
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
facebooked yo mama!!!
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
You know it was a good sh!t when you come back and your screensaver is on.
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.