Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m amazed at the mileage my car is getting. I`m still running off the same tank of gas I bought last year!
Stop screaming, lady. All I said was `this is how pornos start`. It`s just elevator talk.
My support group can outdrink your support group.
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair I’m losing?
I`m such a thrill seeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster...
If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you`ll be dead soon.
I don’t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
Pretty sure I know what my wife`s getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, "A 3-way?" she got all angry like I ruined the surprise.
If you’re a douchebag, it’s so easy to find the right hat.