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The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
I tried jogging this morning, but the alcohol kept spilling out of my glass, f&ck that.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny sh!t.
My medic alert bracelet warns first responders that I kiss back during CPR
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
I come from a long line of successful people. I have successfully stopped that tradition.
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
Sign in a grocery store: Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll!
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360