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The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
You`d think he`d be better at this with all the porn he watches
"But why?" - Me at weddings
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
HR and I apparently disagree on what "debriefed" means.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental issues
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.