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It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
If your Facebook post requires me to hit “continue…” get a diary.
I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
I`ve been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don`t know karate.
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
Whenever there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
You’ll never get the same results running in place as you will running from a lion.
Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.