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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
Attention fuels immaturity
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like "I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn`t."
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
"How many people work at your company?" About half of them.
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.