Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
New day, same old bullsh!t
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
why me is me ?
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your sh!t in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
My last request: At my funeral, someone come up at the end and padlock my coffin shut, just to freak everyone out.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.