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I put the pro in inappropriate.
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
Stop complaining about being single on Valentine`s Day. We have bigger problems in this world. Like why McDonald`s doesn`t serve breakfast after 10.30
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob everybody
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
"Polar bears can`t jump." - Black bears
Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
Sir, your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
My wife’s cooking brings a whole new meaning to.. eat sh!t and die.
During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
I’m posing nude for an art class this evening. Nobody asked me to. I think they’re making ceramic bowls.