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you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plantβ¦.chocolate is a salad.
Golf ball sized hail wouldn`t be as destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
"Always leave them wanting more" is my new mantra when paying bills.
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!