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The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
Attention idiots: as you continue to read something clearly addressed to idiots. Idiot.
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
You`re never too old to learn stupid sh!t
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she`s never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?