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I tried yoga once, but we called it Twister
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
I`ve been eating a lot of extra calories since daylight savings to make up for that hour of eating I missed.
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
Hey mother in law.... Don`t tell me how to raise my kids. Im still trying to raise yours.
I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
`Google`` must be a woman, because it knows everything.