Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive behind them slowly blasting Eye of the Tiger for motivation.
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
The reason dogs look confused when you open the refrigerator door is because they`re thinking "Why don`t you just eat ALL the food?"
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
I want to meet the guy at Hewlett Packard who decides how many minutes of strange noises their printers make before printing 1 page.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.