Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
You can’t call them “love handles” if nobody loves you
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
If I`ve learned anything about picking up woman at the super market it`s to stay away from those in the tampon isle.
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
u cant spell awesome without me
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
To avoid being eaten by zombies, go to Settings / Home Invasion Settings / Cannibalism / Brains, and then uncheck the "tasty" box.