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Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
I scream, You scream, We all scream, Because grandpa forgot his hearing aids again.
If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
The bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually encourage you to pick your nose.
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.