Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
make little things count. teach midgets math.
Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.
How many Weight Watcher points are in an entire bottle of wine?
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.