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Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don`t get me started on the dinosaurs.
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Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
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So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
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is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
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Coffee: fueling you for a job you can`t stand to support a life you never wanted. Tastes good though...
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Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
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Own the day
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Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
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I tried to be a Rap Singer once. Sadly my rap album, `I Respect the Police & the Risks They Take to Keep My Community Safe`, didn`t do too well on iTunes.
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It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
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My anger management class pisses me off
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I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...
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I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.
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There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.
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Tip of the day: Don`t be a douche!
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