Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
Every time I see a safety warning on a product I can`t help think to myself how natural selection has failed us once again...
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.
I forgot to post this earlier
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers