Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
I don`t see the point of sex if the neighbours don`t hear it.
Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not as funny when you live by yourself.
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
Family vacations: When you pay a lot of money to yell at your kids in exotic destinations, preferably on a balcony with an ocean view.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
It`s no fun if you have permission.
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.