Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
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April 1st is the absolute worst day to have a heart attack.
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I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then have the nerve to ask me why I`m not wearing pants.
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I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
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I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
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One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
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What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???
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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
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It`s so hot I have my air condition set on bankruptcy.
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My favorite beer is an open one.
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Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
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Dwjxdjdhjfrjfjhrha! Sorry--you will get a more coherent status update AFTER I`ve had my coffee!
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Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
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Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.
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You`re the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.
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