Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever wish you were a monkey? Then if you got mad at someone, you could just fling your poo at them. Problem solved.
What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for 2?" I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see him too?"
When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish.
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
Valentine’s Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me I suggest you reveal it now.
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
My "Kiss me, I`m Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog.