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French people give me the crepes.
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
Just once I`d like to see someone in a movie call bullshit when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555
Sometimes I write "This is a hold up. I have a gun." in the memo of the checks I write for people and pray they cash them at the teller.
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
I`ll vacuum over something a hundred times before I pick it up and place it back down and try again.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
That awkward moment when kids see a toy they want on TV but the can`t get it because their parents must be 18 or older.