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Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
It`s almost Valentines Day and I still don`t know what to get myself yet.
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
I hope Breaking Bad ends with Jesse waking up from a dream in the middle of Mr. White`s chemistry class.
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
I hate it when old people poke you at weddings and say you`re next. So I`ve started poking them at funerals
"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.